


Prayers like mourning

by weedsinavacantlot



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel is alive again but Jack is still God, Character Study, Drabble, Gen, Implied Castiel/Dean Winchester, Light Angst, kind of
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-23
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-14 03:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29660964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/weedsinavacantlot/pseuds/weedsinavacantlot
Summary: Castiel’s prayers are different now.
Relationships: Castiel & Jack Kline
Comments: 3
Kudos: 10





	Prayers like mourning

Castiel’s prayers are different now. Once he’d prostrated himself to a god he so wholly believed in as his creator, his Father, the man who had authored his and every story around him with unflinching certainty. He’d been a soldier, then a rebel, then a man broken down by the consuming pit of truth at the centre of reality. The original blueprint of a father was that of an uncaring distant man, white satin static buzzing through a baseball game while you fetch him another beer. Cruelty in inaction, and affection when it has purpose. 

But he was gone now. And Castiel didn’t mourn for him, couldn’t mourn for him. Had no tears to shed for the photoflash impression of a man he had never known. And his faith hadn’t been that personal anyway. The title of Father always just that. Title. 

His prayers before had been that of a soldier, more devoted than prefunction, but less loving than bishops and priests begging for a sign. 

Now he prays to his son.

They come in different shapes, they come in stories of fishing trips and gardening mishaps. Recounting Dean’s refusal to wear protective gear when meeting Castiel’s bees, and the subsequent discovery of his bee allergy. They come in relief and sorrow and pleas. It’s not in Castiel’s nature to be selfish, but he’s starting to realize that the fractured cracks that Chuck had once accused him of may be more evident than he wanted to admit. 

It’s not becoming for a former angel to beg a God to come home. 

But there’s a vacancy in the bunker after. And even when Castiel moves on, a half fallen down cabin that Dean insisted was a real ‘fixer upper’, the hole remains. He slips out of their bed at night, only a practiced ease to it keeping the other occupant of the bed asleep, and wanders through drafty corridors trying to understand how Jack’s negative space can exist in a home he never lived.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this is a little short for AO3 but I have like no followers on tumblr what's up
> 
> [Rebloggable version on tumblr](https://weedsinavacantlot.tumblr.com/post/643854399834357760)


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